


seeking a centre of gravity

by spikeymarshmallows



Series: two boys emerging from shadowed hallways [3]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst, Drug Use, Getting Together, Hurt, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Prostitution, Sex Work, Sibling Incest, Some comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:08:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24619618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spikeymarshmallows/pseuds/spikeymarshmallows
Summary: The man had started snoring by the time Klaus had convinced himself to sit up. Klaus grinned to himself and got dressed. He took a few pills from the baggie beside the guy's wallet, and took two extra 20's, making sure he left enough that the guy would unlikely notice that Klaus had fucked off with some extra. Klaus had learned the hard way not to do that.*They do what they have to do to survive. It's not always easy. But at least they have each other to come home to.
Relationships: Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves/Other(s)
Series: two boys emerging from shadowed hallways [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1695337
Comments: 13
Kudos: 163





	seeking a centre of gravity

**Author's Note:**

> For further details on the warnings, to check if you want to read this, etc... See the End Author's Note

The pillow against Klaus' cheek felt good as it moved under him. The hands on his hips felt so good too, warm, even where they dug in. They weren't particularly tight but there were already bruises there and Klaus liked how it felt.

All of him tingled in the best ways, although his mouth still had the strange chemical taste of the pills he'd swallowed earlier in it. It somehow overpowered the taste of this guys dick which, really, was a blessing. But he didn't have it in him to be bothered about anything when he was floating in a cloud of bliss like he was.

He was only half-hard, but that was okay. He was still enjoying this, even if the guy behind him was kinda sweaty and made weird sounds. He wasn't going to come from this though. Klaus knew this type, and he'd just rut away until he was done. If Klaus was lucky, he'd pass out, and Klaus would grab an extra twenty or fifty from his wallet on the way out. He already had a fifty for the hour in his coat.

When the guy finished, making even more weird sounds and all but drooling on Klaus' shoulders, he pulled out with a groan and flopped down on the bed, arms splayed. Klaus let himself fall forward on his front, trying to summon the will to roll over.

He felt so good.

The man had started snoring by the time Klaus had convinced himself to sit up. Klaus grinned to himself and got dressed. He took a few pills from the baggie beside the guy's wallet, and took two extra 20's, making sure he left enough that the guy would unlikely notice that Klaus had fucked off with some extra. Klaus had learned the hard way not to do that.

With a grin, he slipped out of the two-star motel, and started the journey home. Tonight had been a resounding success in his opinion.

Klaus did his best to be quiet as he crept into the apartment. It was dark inside, but a streetlight almost directly outside their window provided enough light that Klaus could see. He went straight to the bathroom, wanting to wash the pungent odour of the John off of him.

The water felt so incredibly good on his skin, but he was pretty sure that was the E. The water pressure was dodgy, at best, and the temperature couldn't seem to make up its mind about whether it was too hot or too cold; it usually erred on the side of too cold. But tonight, it felt like heaven. Klaus leant against the wall, tipping his head back.

He could stand here forever, enjoying the sensations. He wished, not for the first time, that they had a bath, but… Well, it was the best they could afford right now. If he kept this up, maybe they'd be able to find a place sooner rather than later.

Eventually, his skin was breaking out in goosebumps even if Klaus couldn't really feel the cold per se. It had probably been long enough.

After fumbling into his joggers and sweatshirt (well, one of Diego's old sweatshirts), he crawled on his hands and knees up their twin mattress on the floor, flopping into the space between Diego and the wall.

Diego made a low rumbly sound in his throat, and shifted to give Klaus room. When Klaus had tucked the blankets over himself, Diego lay his arm across Klaus' stomach, pressed his face against Klaus' shoulder.

"Good night?" Diego asked

"Mmhmm," Klaus hummed, making himself more comfortable before resting his hand on Diego's arm over him. He fiddled with the hem of his sleeve and pushed it up an inch or two, revelling in the feeling of the fine hair over Diego's wrists. Klaus bit back a giggle. It always amused him that Diego had so much hair on his chest and so little on his arms. It was so soft. He rubbed his thumb back and forth and back and forth, closing his eyes so he could really focus on the sensation.

Diego's body was warm against his, his steady breathing against Klaus' neck soft.

The feeling of a warm body against his felt good. So good. Too good. He hadn't come with the John, and it hadn't occurred to him to jerk off in the shower. But now, beside Diego, all warm and solid, well… Klaus wanted to roll Diego onto his back, to tug his sweatpants down, to ride him until they both saw God. He wanted to run his hands up and down Diego's chest, feeling the coarseness of the hair there, comparing it to the soft skin of his wrists.

Goddamn. Klaus wanted to kiss Diego's wrists, bite where the pulse was. Diego had such a pretty mouth. Klaus wondered what it'd be like to kiss it. He wondered what it would be like to kiss him. Would Diego be a good kisser?

Klaus was pretty sure Diego would be a good kisser. He'd kiss all hard, and probably bite him, and approach kissing with the same intensity he did everything else.

He'd probably fuck Klaus the same way.

Diego would probably hold him down, and fuck him until he couldn't breathe.

He bet Diego had a nice dick.

He'd thought about it once or twice or thirty or a hundred times.

Klaus wasn't good at counting.

He'd thought about Diego's dick a lot though.

Had tried to figure out how big it was from little glimpses here and there, tried to do the math based on when he wore sweatpants with nothing underneath. Klaus figured it would be big enough for him to really feel it, but not big enough that it'd hurt him.

Klaus was hard in his joggers now. He shifted a little, inhaling shakily at the sensation.

Shit.

He really should have jerked off in the shower.

Diego was right there, and felt so good.

Goddamnit, why did Diego's arm have to be there. Klaus wasn't sure he could reach down and touch himself without Diego noticing.

Klaus closed his eyes and tried to think of something else.

Closing his eyes just made him more aware of all the places Diego and he were touching. Diego shifted in his sleep, his hand jerking as it clenched and unclenched Klaus' sweatshirt.

Klaus opened his eyes and glared at the ceiling, as if God himself were there and if Klaus glared hard enough, he'd feel bad for punishing Klaus like this. But there was no God, at least that Klaus could see. Instead, all he could make out in the low light was a water stain on the ceiling.

His boner wasn't going away. He could feel his pulse in his dick, and all he could think about was… Could he wake Diego? Diego wouldn't mind, surely. He knew they were brothers, but Klaus was pretty sure—

Klaus had an overactive imagination. His whole power was literally seeing things he shouldn't. It was just wishful thinking, what he saw from Diego.

Fuck, he was so horny.

Eventually Klaus grumbled and shoved Diego's arm and the blankets off of him, stumbling out of bed.

"Wha?" Diego asked sleepily.

"It's fine," Klaus snapped, and disappeared into the bathroom.

Klaus hadn't meant to start doing this. He'd managed to find a little dive bar that was willing to hire some kid who _claimed_ he was 21, but very clearly wasn't. It didn't pay particularly well, but they didn't seem to mind that Klaus took a few shots here and there throughout the night.

Besides, he didn't have physical strength like Diego did. He didn't know how to do a bunch of the shit Diego somehow knew, like painting, and fixing things, and other kinds of odd jobs.

But Klaus _did_ know how to overpour a glass of wine for tips, and flirt for even more.

And then someone had complimented his eyeliner, and had slurred at Klaus, asking "how much?".

Klaus wasn't naive enough to not understand. He'd said the first number that came to mind. The guy had frowned and Klaus had shrugged, appearing more nonchalant than he was.

Finally, he'd said, "Fine, but you better make it worth it."

Klaus found himself with his face pressed to the filthy bricks outside, his jeans halfway down his thighs. He'd had a condom on him, but no lube, and it hurt more than Klaus was used to, but he was kinda drunk, and he knew how to breathe through it.

The guy came, biting the meat of Klaus' shoulder so hard that it sent pain back into his skull and behind his eye. He pressed a sloppy kiss to Klaus' cheek, and smacked his ass, saying, "Thanks, sweetheart. That was _definitely_ worth it."

It took Klaus another a few breaths to push himself off the wall. He needed some more whiskey, mostly to dull the throbbing pain. But hey, he'd earned more from that than he did in two to three nights of tips, so it wasn't all bad.

It was mostly opportunistic at first. The kind of guys that frequented bars like these weren't exactly charismatic, and definitely weren't Klaus' first choice of a sexual partner. But it wasn't that bad, really. Klaus liked sex, a lot. And he started keeping lube on him, and it got better after that.

Some of them even gave him a reach around.

And really, Klaus liked it. He came more often than not, whether by his own hand or the other guys. His knees were bruised, and some of the guys needed some hygiene lessons fucking _stat_ , but Klaus still enjoyed it for the most part. Being able to come home at 3am with an extra handful of twenties was pretty fucking good.

Some of them became repeat customers, and took him back to their hotel rooms. Some of them had drugs too, which was really the fucking cherry on top. Some money, some pills, and an orgasm? Klaus didn't know it was possible to get so lucky.

It was worth the bruises that often littered his body, worth the pain some days. Besides, if he was fucked up enough, he didn't even realise it hurt until he was on the comedown, and at that point, focussing on scoring his next hit was more important than thinking about why he ached all over.

He was even good at it. He liked to ride the really cute ones, sometimes even let them kiss him. He loved being touched. Klaus had always been someone that liked to touch, to be touched. He'd hugged Ben and Diego a lot growing up, sneaking into their bedrooms on the nights when his nightmares were bad, or they'd been off for "special training". He'd liked to hug Alli back when she'd let him. Even Luther hadn't minded, as long as Dad wasn't looking. He would pick Klaus up and squeeze him until his back cracked, and Klaus was laughing, held up by the strongest arms in the world.

So what if the touches now were a little different? Klaus still liked physical contact. Maybe if Klaus liked these guys, he'd like cuddling them too. Even then, sometimes, if the E was really good, Klaus would cuddle them anyway, if they seemed down for it. And when they didn't? Or they were weird or seemed clingy or whatever? Well, Klaus would fuck off into the night and snuggle up beside Diego.

He had Diego at home for cuddles, and these guys for orgasms.

It was basically a win-win situation.

Although, he wouldn't say no to getting orgasms from Diego too.

But that was another story.

Klaus snuck in a little later than usual, trying to steady his shuddering breathing. He was too sober for this, and by the time the guy had finished, the bar had been closed.

His hands were shaking violently and he felt a little sick, but he told himself it was just the withdrawal. He was fine. He was fine, he just needed a shower, and some ice, and…

He dropped his keys twice before his fingers cooperated enough to unlock the door. The lock was shitty anyway, and all it would have taken was a hard press of the shoulder to open it, but still. He mostly wanted to avoid a knife lodging itself in his collarbone.

He placed the keys on the counter just inside the door, toed off his boots, dropped his coat on top of it. He exhaled shakily, leaning with one hand on the counter while he tried to just… Just breathe.

He sucked in long, slow breaths, even though he shook.

It was fine. It was fine. He had nearly a hundred bucks in the inside pocket of his coat. So what if it had been a little rougher than usual? It was just a risk he took. He just needed a shower, and maybe some painkillers, and to sleep it off.

His face throbbed, as did other parts of his body.

Fuck, he didn't know how he was going to hide this from Diego.

With one hand still braced on the counter, and lowered himself to the ground, resting his forehead on the cupboard for a breath before opening the door and groping around for the little first aid kit they kept. The painkillers in there wouldn't be much help—they were the kind you bought at the grocery store—but they were better than nothing. Klaus would see if he could get his hands on something stronger tomorrow.

"Klaus?" Diego's rough voice came from across the room. He heard Diego click the lamp on and the room filled with a mild yellow glow and deep shadows. "What are you doing?"

"Just have a bit of a headache," Klaus said blithely, not looking over at him. "Trying to find the Tylenol."

He cursed to himself when he heard Diego get out of bed and cross the tiny space.

"It's… Up here," Diego said, opening the cupboard above and to the right of the sink. "Not under the sink. 'S bad for it."

He pulled the bottle out and tucked the first aid kit back on the shelf, before passing the bottle down to Klaus. Klaus didn't look up at him.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you," Klaus said softly, curling his fingers around the bottle. His hand was trembling worse than before; he tucked it against his chest.

"You didn't. Wasn't sleeping very well." Diego was still standing beside him. "You okay?" His voice was cautious.

Klaus nodded, humming an assent.

"You're not drunk again, are you?" Diego asked, disapproval clear in his tone.

"No, no, I'm… Painfully fuckin' sober." Klaus' voice was thready. "Mostly sober. On the way to hungover, I think." It was a mistake to be crouched on the ground like this; it made him so much more aware of all the pain in his body, particularly, well…

"Klaus," Diego's voice was firmer now. "You're being weird, what's wrong?"

"Just tired," Klaus said, closing his eyes. "'M just tired. Long night, you know? Think I'll just… rest here for a minute."

He heard Diego huff, and then Diego bent beside him. Klaus didn't look at him.

"All right, c'mon, up we go," Diego said, wrapping a hand around Klaus' upper arm tightly, and started to pull him to his feet. Klaus gasped and cried out as his body moved too quickly, as Diego upset his fucked shoulder.

"Shit, Klaus?" Diego asked, worried suddenly, hands hovering around Klaus' body in case Klaus swayed and fell to the ground; it wouldn't be the first time.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," Klaus muttered, leaning against the counter and still doing his best to avoid looking at Diego.

He felt warm fingers on his chin, turning him to look at Diego. Klaus kept staring down, refusing to meet Diego's eye.

The silence dragged out for so long Klaus felt a little nauseated; or maybe that was reality slowing coming for him.

"Here, let me help you clean that up," Diego finally said softly. His hands fell away from Klaus. Diego went back into the cupboards for the first aid kit and Klaus eased himself up to sit on the counter. He inhaled sharply through his teeth as he did; it hurt to move but he didn't trust his legs to hold him much longer.

He rested his head against the cupboards as Diego lay a few things on the counter. Klaus closed his eyes against the light as the throbbing in his face increased. Diego stepped between his legs and steadied himself with a hand on Klaus' thigh.

Even though Klaus was braced for the sting (after all, you didn't spend 17 years in the Umbrella Academy without learning the process of getting your wounds stitched up), it still made him inhale sharply at the first contact. Diego worked on cleaning the wound in silence, dabbing away at Klaus' forehead and cheek with a tenderness that seemed at odds with the abrasiveness Diego always showed the outside world.

"What happened?" Diego asked softly when he threw away the first piece of gauze and wet another. The sharp smell of isopropyl was grounding, and not in any way that Klaus wanted it to be. He didn't want to be here. He wanted to be out of his head and out of his body.

It took Klaus too long to realise that Diego had asked him a question.

"Bit of a bar fight tonight. Kinda got involved. Oopsy daisy," Klaus said with a weak chuckle.

"Liar."

Klaus' eyes shot open and he glared at Diego. "Hey—"

"These are scrapes, not punches. You think I don't know the difference?"

Diego had a point.

"You haven't been fighting," Diego said. "What happened?"

"Nothing happened, geeze," Klaus huffed as he folded his arms across his chest.

"Klaus, did someone attack you?"

"No, for fucks' sake—"

"Well, this didn't come from nowhere."

"Fine, I lied. I'm drunk, and I fell over, and just didn't want to tell you."

"You're lying again. Why are you being so evasive? Did you try to rob someone?"

"No!"

"Did you get arrested?"

"No, christ!"

"Mugged?"

"Oh my god. No. Just… quit it!"

Diego pursed his lips, the muscle in his jaw working, and went back to cleaning Klaus' cheekbone. Klaus let his eyes close again, hoping like hell that that was the end of that but knowing it wouldn't be.

"Is that all there is?" Diego asked, letting his hand fall to rest on Klaus' leg.

Klaus eyed him warily. "Why?"

Diego huffed impatiently. "Because I'm guessing if your face is all cut up, you've probably got some other scrapes elsewhere, and we can't afford to take you to the ER if it gets infected."

Klaus exhaled and held out his wrist for Diego to see. Diego winced and lay it against Klaus' thigh, grabbing more gauze to start cleaning it. Because Klaus had tried to brace himself with this hand, the grazes were worse here than his face and now that Klaus could see it in the low light, he could see the debris caught in it. Diego worked on it in silence, moving Klaus' arm around as he rinsed it with water and disinfected it.

"Why won't you tell me what happened?" Diego asked without looking up at him.

"Because I don't want to? I don't owe you any fucking answers," Klaus said irritably.

Diego raised an eyebrow at him which told Klaus exactly what he thought of that statement.

"Well, I'm not exactly liking where my mind is going with this."

"Well, where's it going?" Klaus sniped.

"I'm just worried about you, okay?"

"Oh for fucks sake, I got fucked. It was a little rougher than usual, sue me."

Diego narrowed his eyes and stared long and hard at him. Were Klaus less used to this game, he'd have broken the eye contact instantly; as it was, he fought to maintain it. Eventually, though, he caved and looked away. Of their siblings, Diego had always been the most stubborn.

"If it was just sex, why are you being so cagey about it?

"Excuse me if I didn't want to offend your virgin ears with tales of my exploits," Klaus huffed.

Diego looked away, and in the low light, Klaus could see his skin flush. For a moment, Klaus felt bad.

Diego set the gauze down on the counter and exhaled. "This seems like more than a bit of rough sex," Diego said, circling Klaus' wrist delicately with long fingers and lifting the arm so that the grazes there were easier to see.

Klaus yanked his hand out of Diego's grip when he realised he was trembling. He didn't know when that had started.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes," Klaus said. "I'm fine. Seriously. Lay off."

Diego sighed and rested both hands on Klaus' thighs.

"D-d—" Diego stopped, biting his lower lip. He took a deep breath in, and then exhaled. Klaus knew what question was coming.

"Did you _want_ to have sex with him?" Diego asked slowly, clearly struggling with the words even though his stutter didn't make an appearance.

"Yes? No? I don't know?" Klaus said, voice high. "I mean, he was paying me, and I wanted the money. Just… Fuck. Just leave it, will you?" Klaus threw his arms up in frustration before wincing at the pain it sent through him.

Diego fell back on his heels and stared at Klaus wide-eyed. His hands on Klaus' thighs tightened momentarily. "He… what?"

Klaus realised with a sudden and cold horror what he'd just admitted. He dropped his head back against the cupboards, wincing at the pain.

"Nothing?" Klaus tried, even though he knew Diego wouldn't stand for it. He closed his eyes, feeling sick.

"He was paying you?"

"Yes. Fuck. Yes. Do you really think I get that much in tips? 'Course I've been doing that; it's not like I'm good for much else," he said in a huff, lifting his head again so that he could glare at Diego. He hadn't wanted to admit it to Diego, not _ever_.

Diego looked stunned, and then angry.

"Well, you shouldn't be doing that!"

"Why not? You work with what you've got, and I work with what I've got."

"I don't care. This is dangerous."

"So is the shit you do, Two," Klaus snarled. "Fact is, even with me doing this, we're still struggling just to survive. Imagine how much worse it'd be if I didn't do it."

Diego glared and stepped back, folding his arms across his chest.

"He _hurt_ you."

Klaus shrugged, shaking his head. "It's hardly the worst thing that's ever happened to me."

Diego twitched. "Is that supposed to make me feel _better_ about this?"

"I mean, 's not like it matters how you feel about it. We do what we have to do."

"Well, you're not doing it anymore," Diego said flatly.

"You can't stop me."

"Wanna fucking bet?"

Klaus expected there to be more yelling. Diego's first reaction had always been to punch first, ask questions later if he could be bothered.

A lot had changed since they'd left. Diego had punched a hole in the wall in their second week in the apartment, realised how thin the walls were, how hard they were to fix and he'd avoided punching them since. It was still clearly difficult for him not to respond with anger though.

Diego was silent for so long that Klaus started fidgeting.

Eventually, he said, "we'll talk about this more in the morning."

Klaus rolled his eyes. "Can't fucking wait." He looked down at the first aid kit. "We done here?"

"I suppose you should shower; no point putting anything over them if you're just gonna get 'em wet right away."

Klaus nodded, lips pursed. He eased himself off the counter and shut himself in the bathroom. He sank back against the door once he'd closed it, and just breathed.

Nothing about this evening had gone to plan.

He was hyper aware of the horrible shower tonight, the way the temperature alternated between freezing and blistering.

His chest and arms had some bruises too. His stomach and one of his hip bones, where it had peaked out of his crop top, were grazed too, but he hadn't wanted Diego to clean those. Besides, the shower was probably enough.

He tried to get the come inside of him out, and it stung. His fingers had a hint of blood on them. He swore internally; he'd need to get tested when he had the money. Well, he had an extra twenty for the privilege, so that was something, he supposed.

He hoped to hell he'd be able to sleep tonight. He was exhausted.

A few tears escaped him, but he didn't wipe them away, not wanting to make his face hurt any more than it already did. He stared up at the shower head, eyes closed. He just had to breathe. That's all he had to do.

When he emerged from the bathroom, Diego was sitting on the edge of the bed, sharpening his knives. They really didn't need sharpening, particularly at 4am, but it had been one of Diego's nervous habits for as long as Klaus could remember.

Klaus pulled some sweatpants plus one of Diego's old t-shirts from the neat little pile of clothes in the corner, and dressed, shivering. He gingerly sat down on the mattress beside Diego and watched, entranced, as long, calloused fingers worked the blade.

"I'm not sorry I'm doing it," Klaus said softly.

Diego sighed. He paused in his movements before he started again. He didn't look at Klaus. "I just want you to be safe. That's all."

"It's safer than us ending up homeless," Klaus pointed out.

The muscle in Diego's jaw twitched. He stopped sharpening the blade, hand squeezing tightly around the hilt. Klaus reached out a cautious hand and rested it on Diego's thigh. Diego still wasn't looking at him.

Klaus didn't have the energy to say anything else. He crawled forward, ducking under Diego's arm and curled his torso in Diego's lap. He rested his forehead against Diego's thigh and exhaled shakily. Diego stiffened and then relaxed, brushing the damp hair at the back of Klaus' neck with his fingers. His other arm tightened gently around Klaus as he curled up foetal around Diego. His face stung. He would get Diego put something over them, but not just yet. Right now, he needed this.

"You know," Diego said softly, even as he stroked his hair, "this isn't doing a good job of convincing me you're okay to be doing this."

Klaus sighed and turned his head. "It's just a bad night, Diego. You have bad days at work too."

Diego hummed noncommittally, but he didn't stop. He pulled away after a moment, shrugging out of his hoodie, and laying it over Klaus' shoulders. Klaus tucked it around him, feeling safer somehow. He closed his eyes and let a few tears leak into Diego's sweatpants, but no more.

Diego sighed. "I better get something for your face."

A sad sound escaped Klaus' throat as Diego pulled away. In Diego's absence, he pulled the hoodie on. Diego returned quickly with some cream and bandages for Klaus' face and arm, and applied them gently, with Klaus' head in his lap. Klaus closed his eyes, exhausted in a way he didn't know he could be.

"Can I…?" Klaus reached out for the cream. It was cool against the throbbing and eased the worst of the pain. Diego handed it to him and Klaus pulled the hoodie and his shirt up, pushed his pants down enough that he could access his hip, and started rubbing it onto the grazes on his front.

"I thought you didn't have any more," Diego said flatly.

"I lied."

Diego huffed and eased out from under Klaus. "At least let me look at them, okay? Did you disinfect them?"

"No," Klaus said sullenly. "They're fine. I washed them in the shower."

Diego rolled his eyes and got up again, returning with the disinfectant. Klaus lay there and let him dab away at the broken skin, applying the soothing cream after. Diego's hands lingered on him once he was done, trailing gently across undamaged skin. Klaus bit his lip as he watched. Diego was seemingly entranced with the skin revealed, as if Klaus didn't wander around in next to nothing when the weather permitted it. His hand settled on Klaus' hip, careful to avoid the grazes. When his thumb brushed across it, Klaus shivered against his will; it was one of his most sensitive spots.

That seemed to shake Diego from his trance, and he hurriedly started packing away the medical supplies. When he returned to the bed, he tugged Klaus' clothes back over his skin, a wry smile on his face. He shifted Klaus so that he was under the blankets and crawled underneath with him, pressing a kiss to Klaus' forehead. Klaus snuggled up against him, still wanting the contact, still needing the touch desperately. Diego adjusted him so that he was all but cradled in Diego's arms. Klaus twisted his fingers in Diego's t-shirt, unwilling to let go. He felt Diego's warm breath on the top of his head, a few stray kisses to his damp hair. It wasn't the most comfortable position, but it was safe. He felt safe, he felt cherished, even if his mind was a miserable swirl of emotions.

He didn't know how, but he fell asleep.

When he woke up, his body was stiff, and he was still curled up against Diego. It probably hadn't been the best position to sleep in. His legs were thrown across Diego's stomach, and he was still held against him.

The room was full of light as Klaus slowly became aware of things. Diego's arm was wrapped around his shoulder; his thumb was running little circles against his shoulder through his hoodie. Diego's face was pressed to the top of Klaus' head, his breathing hot against his scalp. Every so often, he felt a little kiss being pressed there too, and it filled his chest with warmth.

Klaus blinked blearily. Diego couldn't see his face, so he didn't know Klaus was awake.

"Why're you home?" Klaus asked, suddenly struck with the realisation that Diego had always left by this time.

Diego didn't slow the circling of his thumb but he lifted his head a little.

"Doesn't matter," he said, voice low.

"But don't you have work?"

Diego shrugged. "Felt more important to be here, I guess."

Klaus' stomach twisted, and he wasn't sure if he was happy about that, or anxious.

"Oh."

Diego shrugged again and tightened the arm around his shoulder, pressing his face to the top of Klaus' head again.

Klaus fell into the strange space between awake and asleep, loosely aware of the feeling of Diego against him. This was nice. Eventually though, his bladder made it clear he had to get up. With a groan, he pushed himself up and away from Diego, grumbling as he got up.

His body made it very clear how unhappy it was with him, hurting and sore in so many places he didn't want to think about.

The grazes on his face had developed bruises overnight, and looked angry and colourful. He inspected the marks, hoping they wouldn't scar. He might be destitute right now, but he had always had a pretty face and he wanted to keep it that way.

He slumped back to bed, and snuggled into Diego again, glad that it wasn't his preferred side that had the grazes. Diego curled around him again.

Diego had always been weird about affection, pretending he wasn't secretly the biggest softie, that he didn't thrive off the physical contact. When he'd been a little boy, he'd cuddled Mom constantly if he thought nobody was watching. Mom's skin was strange; it felt too smooth, had no hair, and was neither cool nor warm. She'd been hard and soft in the same breath, but Diego had clung to her.

As they'd grown older, they'd begun crawling into each other's beds at night. It wasn't just him and Diego. He'd done it with Ben too. Ben was the quietest sibling but he'd had the loudest nightmares, and even though he'd been upstairs, Klaus had still heard him. Sometimes, it was just him and Ben. Sometimes, he'd run into Diego on the way up, and all three of them would try to squeeze into a twin bed. It usually ended up with Diego tucked against Ben, and Klaus in a little ball at their feet.

Now, though? Now it was just him and Diego. But at least they had practice fitting onto a tiny mattress. Thank god Diego liked to cuddle. It was harder to be scared of the creepy little boy muttering in the corner when Diego had four limbs wrapped around him.

"Feeling okay today?" Diego asked after a long silence. One of his hands was rubbing Klaus' scalp.

"I've been better," Klaus said sleepily.

Diego hummed with displeasure. "Go shower, and I'll put some more stuff on it."

Klaus huffed. "I'm quite happy right here, thank you." He threw his leg over Diego's stomach, trapping him.

Diego poked him in the side, and for a moment, the seriousness of the situation eased. Klaus laughed, and Diego did too.

"I'm serious about that shower," Diego said, poking him again.

Klaus rolled his eyes and managed to get himself upright. "Fine. But know that I am complaining every step of the way."

"Your complaint has been noted, and filed with the appropriate department."

Klaus flipped him off before he closed the bathroom door.

When he stepped out of the shower, wrapped in the little towel and nothing else, Diego stared at him for a long moment and then went back to sorting through their first aid kit.

Klaus dropped the towel on the end of the bed, pulled on some underwear because _some_ people insisted, pulled the hoodie from before back on and flopped onto the bed.

Diego kicked the towel off the bed with his foot and sat back down beside him. He started with Klaus' face, inspecting the wounds.

"I'm not exactly thrilled about it," Diego said, and although he didn't specify what _it_ was, Klaus knew.

"I know. But I don't really care," Klaus said bluntly.

"I know."

"And you can't really stop me."

Diego sighed and looked away. He looked like he was about to argue, before he deflated. "Yeah. I know. If I can't stop you putting all that other shit in your body, I probably can't stop you doing this."

Klaus grimaced. "Way to make it awkward."

Diego snorted.

"On the pro side, at least one of us is getting laid on the regular."

Diego didn't say anything to that, but when Klaus looked up at him, Diego's cheeks and neck were pink. Klaus studied him as he worked through Klaus' injuries.

"What's the prognosis, Doc? Will I live?"

Diego shook his head, his expression indulgent. "Unfortunately for me, I think you will."

Klaus kicked him—or tried to—in the side.

After, they lay in bed facing each other again. Diego alternated between staring at his face (and his mouth, which? Oh?), and so very determinedly looking away.

Klaus wasn't sure what to make of that.

* * *

Klaus had one of his rare nights off. He'd been glad for it, as there had been a cold front and even though the apartment wasn't well-insulated, it was better than being out there. And Diego was here, and warm. They didn't often get to fall asleep together. It was nice, talking quietly in the darkness, ignoring the sirens and shouting outside.

His grazes had healed, barely even pink scarring to indicate that anything had happened. Diego had been fastidious about looking after them, fingers always gentle on Klaus' skin as he worked. His touch on Klaus' hips and stomach lingered each time, and his stutter showed up sometimes.

In the stillness of the night, they talked about… Klaus couldn't really remember what they were talking about. He'd been too caught up in other things. Diego's eyes had been dark, and the way he looked at Klaus was, well, the same way Diego had looked at him for longer than Klaus could remember. It was the look that explained to Klaus why Diego hadn't run off into the night alone. It was because of that look that Diego had dragged his sorry ass out of the Academy that night instead.

Klaus wasn't very good at thinking too far into the future, but he knew that he never wanted that look to disappear.

Klaus kissed Diego because he wanted to, and Klaus had never been good at denying himself that he wanted. Klaus had never wanted to do anything so badly in his life. This was more than drugs, this was more than the relentless search for oblivion and nothingness.

He couldn't remember what they were talking about, but he knew he'd never forget the way Diego kissed him back. He tasted lightly of mint from where he'd brushed his teeth before bed, and there was the rasp of his stubble against Klaus' skin. Klaus' lips were chapped, but Diego didn't seem to mind.

Diego's fingers were warm when they slipped under the hem of his sweater; despite that, Klaus shivered. Diego was so tender with him, like he was something precious. He'd always been gentle with Klaus, letting Klaus see a side of him that maybe only Mom got to see. He was still a fiery asshole, and he only took Klaus' shit some of the time. But really, that was one of the things Klaus loved about him. He'd push back against him, and gentle at rare moments.

Klaus loved the tenderness Diego showed him; but he really hoped Diego fucked like he fought.

Diego seemed shy at first, hesitant with his kisses. Klaus bit Diego's lower lip and Diego seemed to take it as a challenge; it was. The hand in Klaus' hair tightened and Diego deepened the kiss as he dragged Klaus closer.

At some point, Klaus gasped out that they should stop, that Diego had work. Diego didn't seem in favour of the idea, and Klaus was so very okay with that.

Klaus was hard by the time they broke away; Diego was too, and Klaus so badly wanted to slip his hands down to cop a feel, to see if his guesses about Diego's dick were correct. But just as the thought occurred to him, Diego was pulling away, gentling the kiss. Klaus whined, but Diego withdrew anyway.

"It's getting late," Diego said, voice hoarse.

"Oh. Yeah." Klaus was used to being up far later than this for work and his body clock was out of sync.

Still, Diego moved in again to kiss him with such tenderness that Klaus felt weak before he pulled back and settled back on the bed. He brushed their noses together.

"Love you," Diego whispered.

Klaus already felt like he was on fire, but another wave of it spiked with the words.

"Love you too," Klaus breathed. He'd loved Diego for as long as he could remember and no matter what happened, he knew he always would. Very few things in Klaus' life and mind were constant: this was. Diego was.

In the low light, Klaus could see the smile on Diego's face before his eyes closed. His breathing evened out shortly after. Weariness tugged at Klaus too and he eventually surrendered to sleep, warm and safe in Diego's arms.

Klaus had been hoping that Diego would relax a little more about Klaus' job, but it seemed the opposite occurred.

But it wasn't exactly like they had any other option. Thanks to Klaus' job, they were able to eat more than one meal a day. They got a better lock for their door. It wasn't exactly paradise, but things were less difficult.

Klaus put it down to jealousy; he was just waiting for the day that it would overtake Diego and he'd lose it, pinning Klaus down and fucking him to remind him that Klaus was _his_. For all that Diego seemed possessive, the fuck never came.

Diego had come home, and Klaus hadn't even waited for him to shower before pouncing, dragging him into kiss after kiss. They may not have been fucking, but they were certainly making out a hell of a lot. Any surface they could find, they kissed against. Klaus had been making tea when Diego had returned, and his tea was going cold on the counter beside him as Diego kissed him breathless.

Klaus wrapped his legs around Diego's waist, pulling him in close. He rubbed himself against Diego's stomach, panting hotly against Diego's mouth. Diego made low little sounds in his throat, his hands trailing down Klaus' back, along his thighs, hooking under his knee to lift it higher. Klaus gasped and kissed him harder, trying to touch as much of Diego as he could given their clothes.

Yes, yes, maybe it was finally happening. Maybe he was about to get railed, and sure, it was maybe ten feet to get to their mattress, but if Diego wanted to fuck him for the first time on the kitchen counter, then so be it.

Besides, there was something hot about the desperation of it. Diego was hard against him, and he was holding Klaus' head in place, his fingers twisted roughly in his hair, keeping him exactly where he wanted him. Klaus started to push at Diego's hoodie, unzipping it and pushing it off his shoulders. Diego pulled away a touch, but it wasn't to help rid him of the layers. Instead, he slowed the kiss.

Klaus whined in his throat. "Wha?" He managed, blinking blearily at him.

"W-w-we should stop," Diego said, mouth hovering over Klaus'.

"No we shouldn't," Klaus argued.

"I'm tired. Let me go shower," Diego said gently.

Klaus whined again, but Diego shut him up with one, two, three—okay, several more kisses. Once Klaus had forgotten his own name, Diego finally withdrew, a little smile on his face. Klaus blinked dozily at him as he disappeared into the bathroom before realising that he'd been left, achingly hard, on the kitchen counter.

When Klaus woke up, there was finally a peak of blue in the sky. It had been raining for four days straight, and Diego hadn't been able to work as a result. His current odd job required him to be outside, and turned out, painting a house in the rain wasn't exactly useful. It meant a little less money, but Klaus had managed to pull in three guys last night, and yeah, okay, he was a little sore, but the money was good.

And now, finally, on Sunday, the one day Diego didn't work, it was finally looking like the weather was clearing up.

Diego was asleep beside him, his breathing steady and even as it tickled Klaus' neck. Klaus bit his lip and smiled to himself. Diego was hard against his thigh, even if he wasn't awake. Klaus was pretty sure he'd be able to swing things his way this morning.

Klaus crept out of bed, mindful of not moving Diego too much, and brushed his teeth quickly in the bathroom. He lay a glass of water beside the bed next, so Diego didn't have the excuse of morning breath again.

Klaus was absolutely going to sit on Diego's dick before the day was out, so fucking help him.

He clambered up the bed again and placed himself between Diego and the wall, snuggling up close to him. Diego pulled Klaus against him, tightening his arms and getting closer, even in sleep. Klaus positively glowed under the attention, even though it was unconscious.

He turned so that he was facing Diego more, and twisted their legs together. Diego was still hard, and it didn't take long for Klaus to get there either. Once he was, he started lightly kissing Diego's neck and up under his jaw.

Diego hummed and smiled and pressed a sleepy kiss to Klaus' forehead.

Okay, so far, so good.

"Hey baby," Diego said, voice rough with the morning.

"Hi," Klaus whispered, still kissing him. He lightly sucked the spot that always made Diego breathe a little more sharply; as expected, as soon as he did, Diego's fingers on him tightened, and his breathing became sharper. Against Klaus' thigh, through his underwear, Diego's cock twitched.

Klaus kept kissing at his neck and jaw, nothing too crazy. Diego was like a deer, and Klaus didn't want to startle him by moving too quickly. Diego released a breathy moan, and tilted his head back further so Klaus had better access.

Cautiously, Klaus slotted one of his legs between Diego's. Almost unconsciously, Diego started grinding against it, his fingers tightening on Klaus' waist again.

Yes, now they were getting somewhere.

Klaus languidly dragged a hand up Diego's side. Diego was gently grinding against his thigh now, his breathing getting sharper with each movement.

Klaus kept his touches and kisses light and very slowly ran his hand back down, and grabbed Diego's hand. Ever so cautiously, he pulled the hand behind him, so it rested on the small of his back, and then lower still. Diego finally looked down, forcing Klaus' head from out of its space, and kissed him, _hard_.

Yes, fucking finally.

Klaus pushed Diego's hand a little lower, and Diego squeezed his ass through his underwear, not hesitant now despite all the cautiousness he'd shown every other time Klaus had tried to get this far. His hands felt so good as they kneaded the flesh, and Klaus bit Diego's lower lip before pushing his tongue into his mouth. Diego dragged Klaus closer still, kissing him harder as Klaus wrapped his arms around his neck.

Diego squeezed his ass again and Klaus gasped, mostly in pleasure but a little in pain; the guys last night hadn't been rough, but he was only human.

Diego withdrew as if he'd been burnt. His wide eyes were dark, his pupils blown.

"I should—" Diego started, but couldn't seem to get the rest of his words out. He shuffled backwards so quickly that he fell off the edge of the mattress and knocked the glass of water Klaus had put there over. He swore and picked up the few books beside the bed before any water could get them.

By the time they'd mopped up, Diego seemed like a spooked animal, or something. He wouldn't meet Klaus' eye, and before Klaus could drag him back to bed, he mumbled an excuse and disappeared into the shower.

Klaus flopped back against the bed and kicked his feet a few times in frustration. And then a pit started to curl in his stomach. Things had been going so well, but then he'd… he'd… Why had he stopped? The water had spilled only because he'd withdrawn suddenly. Why…

Klaus pressed his lips together, trying to stop them trembling. What had he done wrong?

Why was Diego so averse to touching him?

What—

He didn't understand.

He lay there and stared at the ceiling, the pit in his stomach growing. He wasn't a fan of the places his mind was taking him, but he wasn't sure what else it could be…

The misery of the morning forgotten, Klaus and Diego stumbled back into their studio, shivering and shaking, and laughing giddily. Given the rain of the past few days, they'd been cooped up together (and not having sex; Klaus really had a bone to pick there) and decided to take the less formidable sky as an invitation to go out.

The day had warmed enough that they'd stripped off their coats at the park as they wandered around, and Diego did weird gymnastic things on the equipment at the park, such as hanging upside down from his knees, and trying to balance on the top of the swing set.

The rain had been entirely unexpected, a few heavy drops that turned torrential in a matter of moments. Even with their coats, they were soaked through by the time they got home, laughing at nothing. Klaus was freezing, his teeth chattering, but his hand in Diego's was warm.

Once inside, Klaus yanked his coat off and let it drop to the floor. Diego's followed, and he rounded on Klaus to kiss him, pressing him against the front door. The hand that had been in Klaus' was warm, the other hand cool, a sharp contrast where they gripped his face.

Diego's body against his was almost as solid as the door behind him, and although he'd lost weight since leaving the Academy, there was still the underlying strength Klaus knew and loved. He kissed Klaus like he needed it to breathe, and his thigh slid between Klaus' to press up against him.

Klaus whimpered against his mouth, trying to drag Diego in closer. His shirt was wet under Klaus' fingers, and he tried to push it up and out of the way but as soon as he started, Diego withdrew.

"You—" Diego swallowed. "You should go shower."

"I—what?" Klaus asked, still leaning against the door. "Diego, what the fuck?"

"Just…" Diego looked away, holding his elbow. "Just… Go shower, before you catch a cold. You have work tonight, right?"

Klaus pressed his lips together to stop his lower lip trembling. "I…" For once, Klaus was at a loss for words. He inhaled shakily, still staring at Diego and trying to make sense of things.

Finally, Klaus said weakly, "You could join me?"

Diego opened and closed his mouth twice. "I… I don't th-th-think—. It's not a good idea."

"Oh," Klaus said, voice small. He nodded, more to himself. His stomach was churning by the time he pushed off the door and sulkily headed into the bathroom.

What was wrong with him?

This guy, _apparently_ named John, had been at the bar the night before last, and he'd asked if Klaus wanted to make a little extra money one day during the week. Klaus had seen John a few times before, and he fucked like a demon, and didn't use too much tongue when he kissed. So now Klaus found himself with his face buried in a pillow at a three-star motel. The sheets actually smelled clean, like maybe he was the first person on them.

And John was really fucking hot for a guy probably in his forties. The guys Klaus saw varied, really. Some were old, and ugly. Some were young and had way too much coke and wanted to be blown until they came, even if they couldn't get hard. But Klaus liked the rare demographic that weren't young and stupid, and weren't old and obsessed with viagra, whose egos were very intrinsically tied to making sure Klaus got off. Even better? Those guys tended to tip the best, and Klaus got an orgasm or two.

John was _really_ fucking good with his mouth. He'd been eating Klaus out so good, had been keeping Klaus on-edge but never quite pushing further. Klaus' toes were curling against the sheets, and he was sure his knuckles were going white too.

When John fucked him, he started slow, being so gentle with Klaus. But when Klaus started begging for more, for harder, oh god, he gave it to him. He moaned desperately into the pillows, feeling his orgasm balancing on the precipice, and… As soon as he started stroking Klaus' cock, he came, shuddering and shaking. John murmured sweet nothings agains him as he kept fucking Klaus until he also came. Klaus' cock valiantly tried to get hard again, loving and hating the overstimulation almost as much as he loved and hated the sweet way John was talking to him.

Finally, John came, exhaling hard against Klaus' neck. He sank back on his heels, rubbing Klaus' back with a firm and steady hand. Klaus stopped himself from sinking down and lying in the wet patch, and flopped onto his back. John cuddled up next to Klaus, running his fingers over Klaus' stomach idly, uncaring of the mess.

It was weirdly nice. Intimate.

And it upset Klaus for reasons he couldn't understand.

John eventually pushed himself up on his elbow, trailing his fingers up and down Klaus' chest now, gentle but not enough to tickle. He talked to Klaus about his job, revealing little things here and there, so that every time he saw Klaus, Klaus learned something new about him.

He sometimes asked Klaus about the things he liked. Today, it was asking what Klaus liked to drink.

Klaus gushed off something, although his mind was beginning to go to other places. This was so nice. This was _so nice_. Why was the nicest thing he'd had all week something with a John? A, supposedly literal, fucking John?

John kissed him again, and although Klaus knew John was old enough that he couldn't get hard again, Klaus sure as hell could. Klaus was already half-hard again, just from the touches to his chest and the presence of a naked body. John jerked him off gently; he even remembered to grab lube so the drag of his fist wasn't harsh. He kissed along Klaus' throat and collarbones, and his lips hovered over Klaus' as he brought him through a blissful second orgasm that made his vision go white at the sides.

It should have felt good. It… It _did_ feel good, even though there was a pit growing in his stomach. John cuddled up to him again, stroking his hair as Klaus came down.

Why didn't Diego touch him like this?

Why didn't Diego touch him at all?

As they lay there, John kept touching him so sweetly. He talked to Klaus about inane things; he wasn't boring, but Klaus wasn't following. It all felt wrong. Klaus kept smiling, but it felt forced. It felt wrong.

Why didn't Diego do this with him?

After they cleaned up, and Klaus left with more money than he usually made in two or three nights, it all started to seep over him.

He smoked three cigarettes on the walk home, closing his eyes against the bloody bodies he saw on the streets.

Why didn't he and Diego have that?

Why didn't Diego want him like that?

He stopped to roll a joint before realising he didn't have any weed left, and his grinder was still at home.

His eyes were stinging, but it was probably allergies.

Klaus had never had allergies, but hey, now was a good time to start.

In the beginning of winter, with absolutely no fucking pollen around.

He blinked a few times to get the stinging out of his eyes. This was ridiculous.

What was the big deal? So a guy was gentle and sweet with him, and his—whatever the fuck Diego was to him was—and Diego didn't want to fuck him? It wasn't a big deal.

Klaus liked sex. That's why he made a good hooker. Even when things were rough, and the guys weren't gentle, Klaus still enjoyed sex a lot.

Was it because Klaus was doing this Diego didn't want to touch him? He knew Diego wanted him, he felt it every time they made out. Diego would get hard, and kiss him until he couldn't breathe. But he never let it go further.

Did Klaus do something wrong?

Was Klaus just… _wrong_ for doing this?

By the time he made it home, he felt like he was going to be sick. He'd had a shower with John, but his skin felt like it was crawling. The creepy little boy in the corner was singing "itsy bitsy spider" and walking his fingers across the wall.

Klaus shuddered.

He looked across the little space and stared at the poorly made bed. Klaus knew Diego liked things tidier, that their studio was only tidy thanks to Diego's efforts.

He'd washed the sheets on the weekend, just as he did every week. The sheets were unsoiled.

They were two goddamn eighteen year old boys… and their sheets were clean.

Their sheets were clean.

Klaus' head was spinning.

Why didn't Diego want him like that?

Diego wanted him, right? Klaus wasn't imagining things, was he?

Then why wouldn't he—?

Was it something Klaus did—?

Klaus tried to suck air into his lungs. His lower lip was trembling. He pressed his lips together so that they wouldn't.

He needed a shower.

A shower would help.

Maybe then he'd feel clean.

He started the water. Leant against the wall. Slowly sank to the floor. He just needed to sit for a bit. Diego wouldn't be home for a while and he could take his time.

His throat tightened but he didn't know why.

He really needed a hug.

He wanted to hug Diego.

He wanted Diego to want him.

Why didn't Diego want him?

He must have gotten water in his eyes because they began to sting again and it couldn't be allergies in the shower.

He blinked a few times to get the water out.

His breath hitched.

Was he just used goods?

Was Diego just pretending?

He tried to swallow around the lump in his throat with little success.

He pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his face in them. The tears started, and he didn't think he could blame it on allergies this time.

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: the rape/non-con comes in the form of Klaus consensually agreeing to have sex with someone, but the other person forcing him to have sex without a condom. Klaus does not really register it as rape because he thinks "welp, I consented to the sex" even though he didn't consent to how rough it was nor the lack of condom. [FTR: that's still rape, but Klaus doesn't really see it as such T.T]   
> _There is no rape/non-con between Diego and Klaus._
> 
> This generally has hurt/comfort but ends on a hurt note--but the fic directly after this has already been written and I'm just aiming not to yeet out all my fics at once, you know?
> 
> Also, I'm sex-work positive, but survival sex work is a very different beast. One day, I'm going to finish my average-sex-worker-Klaus fic....


End file.
